A basketball hitting pavement
A shovel scraping against the pavement and through a foot of heavy snow
Small zippers
Cloth rustling against cloth
A knife passing through a juicy apple
My new keyboard with its cover on when I’m thoughtfully typing slowly and
without too much pressure
Skin brushing against skin
Coffee beans pouring
Scooping ground coffee beans with a plastic spoon scoop
Water trickling through a small brook or a water feature
The new carts rolling through Target
The fan whooshing noise of the TNG Enterprise
Steady rainfall on trees, wood, plants
Seismic charges in Star Wars episode 2
British people saying "luv" as a term of endearment
Friday, November 25, 2011
List Series: Annoyances
Jack Johnson
Lack of oral hygiene
Facebook posts like “I have the best
girlfriend ever”
Kissing profile pictures
Caring what race you date/marry/have
babies with
Anti-gay marriage
Anti-cross dressing
Afraid of sexuality
Too much in the way of PDAs
Girls who dress like Kim Kardashian
Men in leather thong flip flops, a
loose polo, and khaki shorts who haven’t showered in days
Axe body spray
Old school pink bottle Herbal Essences
Gross bathrooms
Lol cat writing or speech
Festering wounds
Condensed soup
Raw or partially cooked eggs
The smell of burning cheese
The fact that I have internal organs
List Series: Reason's Relationships Can Suck
Swapping a cold or flu back and forth
UTIs
Risk of STIs
Risk of pregnancy
Having to shave closely
Caring what underwear you’re wearing
and when you last wore it
Washing the sheets more often
Having two sets of everything
Clearing out space for his stuff
Watching his shows
Listening to his music
Watching him play sports
Watching him play video games
His friends
Fights about nothing
Knowing 90% of what you talk to your
friends about is him
Knowing you don’t hang out with your
friends enough
How it changes things with male
friends
Never having a moment to fart or pick
your nose
Your period
Spending
money on dates and presents
When he
doesn’t get along with people you love, or they don’t like him
Beardface
hair in the sink
Face
stubble
The way
the bathroom smells
Feeling
fat or not sexy
Stressing
in the beginning about how he feels about you
Are we
moving to fast or not fast enough
When do
you know it’s over
Is he
cheating
Would I
be happier with someone else
What if
this is it forever
Friday, November 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
NaNoWriMo
It's NaNoWriMo!
Who's-a-what-now?
It stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea being that a lot of people want to write a novel but are so daunted by the task that they never get to far. Instead of viewing novel writing a write, edit, throw out, rewrite, cry, write some more, process, you just take one month to try to write 50,000 words. It doesn't matter if 3/4 of those words are "poopy" copy and pasted over and over again on your screen, at least you wrote something. By limiting time and setting a goal of word count, writers are encouraged to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and simply get words out there. Editing can come later, plot can emerge on its own. I think the biggest accomplishment is in showing people that it can be done, that writing lengthy works isn't an insurmountable block.
Personally? I'm not doing it. While I love novels; series of novels; shows with multi-episode, multi-season story arches; and movie series, I don't consider myself to write in that fashion. I enjoy writing in 1-5 page spans. I've been corralled into writing longer pieces pretty much only in an academic setting. I got though two such papers based on my own research, and I could see myself writing a book along those lines, but like many academically inclined books, the chapters would be independently sustainable with only common themes emerging between them.
Maybe when I'm older I'll be more interested in writing a novel. However, I like the idea of doing something creative with my month. I'm going to make more of an effort to blog, paint, craft, and read this month. We're still a ways off from New Years, and Lent was a long time ago. Some consider this to be the Holiday Season, but I think we can leave December as a time for family and charity and make November a time for creativity.
Who's-a-what-now?
It stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea being that a lot of people want to write a novel but are so daunted by the task that they never get to far. Instead of viewing novel writing a write, edit, throw out, rewrite, cry, write some more, process, you just take one month to try to write 50,000 words. It doesn't matter if 3/4 of those words are "poopy" copy and pasted over and over again on your screen, at least you wrote something. By limiting time and setting a goal of word count, writers are encouraged to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and simply get words out there. Editing can come later, plot can emerge on its own. I think the biggest accomplishment is in showing people that it can be done, that writing lengthy works isn't an insurmountable block.
Personally? I'm not doing it. While I love novels; series of novels; shows with multi-episode, multi-season story arches; and movie series, I don't consider myself to write in that fashion. I enjoy writing in 1-5 page spans. I've been corralled into writing longer pieces pretty much only in an academic setting. I got though two such papers based on my own research, and I could see myself writing a book along those lines, but like many academically inclined books, the chapters would be independently sustainable with only common themes emerging between them.
Maybe when I'm older I'll be more interested in writing a novel. However, I like the idea of doing something creative with my month. I'm going to make more of an effort to blog, paint, craft, and read this month. We're still a ways off from New Years, and Lent was a long time ago. Some consider this to be the Holiday Season, but I think we can leave December as a time for family and charity and make November a time for creativity.
Good luck to you NaNoWriMo-ers! I look forward to reading your future novels. Be creative, have fun, and prove to yourself that you can do it! Happy November 1st to all!
Monday, October 31, 2011
"'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE."
I've been apartment hunting!
My lease isn't up until the end of December, but I absolutely hate being rushed so I started looking for a new place about a month ago. I have a roommate now, and she's moving with her boyfriend, which means it's time for me to live on my own, really on my own, for the first time. My mom didn't live on her own until after her marriage ended. 20-something seems like a good time to be self sufficient.
I think I did find an apartment. It's cheap enough that I can afford it by myself without giving up luxuries like new pants and take-out pizza. It's clean, has an old building feel but a redone interior, and the guy who owns it is really nice. But it's super small. One room with a kitchen offshoot and a bathroom kind of small. In apartment terms that is a "studio" but in Sarah terms that's called "post-college but still-a-dorm room."
At some point I want to be an adult. Someone who owns a washer and dryer and gets super excited about the ice cube maker in the fridge. I'll become overly excited about tomato plants and overly sad about chipmunks. You know the usual.
For now, all I really want is a place to call my own that has four walls, high speed internet, and feels safe. Check, sort of check, and probably check.
You might be thinking, "Sarah, as an avid reader of your blog, I know all about your love life. Why aren't you moving in with Boyfriend?" Stop thinking that. Stop thinking that right now before the thought exits your brain, enters your keyboard, and becomes my first ever blog comment. It would be really sad if my first ever blog comment resulted in me reaching through my computer to punch someone in the face.
I love Boyfriend, but he thinks, and rightly so, that a couple should be together for a few years before living together. I can't really put a number on how long I think a couple should test run a relationship for before embarking on lease signage, but I can tell you that we aren't there yet.
To be honest, as a child of divorce, I am hesitant to live with someone I'm dating. I've seen how long it takes to untangle your lives once there's more than emotional interweaving. I'm also concerned because a study indicated that those who live with more than one partner before marriage have a higher divorce rate. With that bit of information looming overhead, I want to be reasonably sure my partner is "the one" before living together. I think I have less trepidation about engagement. After all, it's easy to give back a ring; it is very hard to break a lease.
If you don't know where the title of this post comes from, you can watch this.
My lease isn't up until the end of December, but I absolutely hate being rushed so I started looking for a new place about a month ago. I have a roommate now, and she's moving with her boyfriend, which means it's time for me to live on my own, really on my own, for the first time. My mom didn't live on her own until after her marriage ended. 20-something seems like a good time to be self sufficient.
I think I did find an apartment. It's cheap enough that I can afford it by myself without giving up luxuries like new pants and take-out pizza. It's clean, has an old building feel but a redone interior, and the guy who owns it is really nice. But it's super small. One room with a kitchen offshoot and a bathroom kind of small. In apartment terms that is a "studio" but in Sarah terms that's called "post-college but still-a-dorm room."
At some point I want to be an adult. Someone who owns a washer and dryer and gets super excited about the ice cube maker in the fridge. I'll become overly excited about tomato plants and overly sad about chipmunks. You know the usual.
For now, all I really want is a place to call my own that has four walls, high speed internet, and feels safe. Check, sort of check, and probably check.
You might be thinking, "Sarah, as an avid reader of your blog, I know all about your love life. Why aren't you moving in with Boyfriend?" Stop thinking that. Stop thinking that right now before the thought exits your brain, enters your keyboard, and becomes my first ever blog comment. It would be really sad if my first ever blog comment resulted in me reaching through my computer to punch someone in the face.
I love Boyfriend, but he thinks, and rightly so, that a couple should be together for a few years before living together. I can't really put a number on how long I think a couple should test run a relationship for before embarking on lease signage, but I can tell you that we aren't there yet.
To be honest, as a child of divorce, I am hesitant to live with someone I'm dating. I've seen how long it takes to untangle your lives once there's more than emotional interweaving. I'm also concerned because a study indicated that those who live with more than one partner before marriage have a higher divorce rate. With that bit of information looming overhead, I want to be reasonably sure my partner is "the one" before living together. I think I have less trepidation about engagement. After all, it's easy to give back a ring; it is very hard to break a lease.
If you don't know where the title of this post comes from, you can watch this.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Less Awkward Turtle
(This post will make no sense unless you read the one before)
I may have confused the hell out of my internet love, Matt Inman, but I made a positive impression on Jenny from The Bloggess. I emailed her my picture of The Oats vomiting on Wil Wheaton's collating and she sent me back this message:
"LOVE. I'm putting this in my folder of "things that make me smile and are
I may have confused the hell out of my internet love, Matt Inman, but I made a positive impression on Jenny from The Bloggess. I emailed her my picture of The Oats vomiting on Wil Wheaton's collating and she sent me back this message:
"LOVE. I'm putting this in my folder of "things that make me smile and are
unexplainable to my grandmother."
YOU ROCK."
Being noticed by awesome people makes my life more awesome.
Thanks, Jenny for validating my awkward encounter with The Oatmeal.
P.S. I just spent some serious time deciding if awkward turtles are quantifiable in a way which would categorize them as "less awkward turtle" or "fewer awkward turtles." I finally decided that while it is sometimes fun to say that I was "like fifteen awkward turtles in there!" I do so because it's even more hilarious since I can't possibly be that many turtles. I think awkward turtle is more of a continuum of awkwardness in a way which denotes the usage of "fewer" instead of "less." Whoa. Grammer.
P.S. I just spent some serious time deciding if awkward turtles are quantifiable in a way which would categorize them as "less awkward turtle" or "fewer awkward turtles." I finally decided that while it is sometimes fun to say that I was "like fifteen awkward turtles in there!" I do so because it's even more hilarious since I can't possibly be that many turtles. I think awkward turtle is more of a continuum of awkwardness in a way which denotes the usage of "fewer" instead of "less." Whoa. Grammer.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm Super Awkward Turtle about The Oatmeal
Last night I met Matt Inman.
Actually, I don't really think I met him. Meeting someone involves a back and forth communication wherein you learn about one another: I say, "Hello, my name is Sarah." And Matt says, "Hello, my name is Mr. Oats." And then we talk for a bit about real things like the epic choice between the toothbrush that's on sale or the kind that comes in your favorite color. Real things that you can't find our from a dating profile or two blogs worth of stalking.
What did happen was this: Boyfriend bought us tickets to a TEDx Talk in Princeton. (The x stands for independently organized... When the librarian told us that, I wasn't sure if she was incredibly dumb or the whole TED site was. Possibly both are true.) We sat in a room of 100+ guests and watched a hodgepodge of short TED talks and two live guests. Sarah, who spelled her name the correct way and had lovely pink hair, embodied everything I try to be when I put on my fake leather jacket and dance around my room singing loudly. She was an unknown entity to me but I hope that in the future she makes it big and kicks Jack Johnson in the pants, resulting in his retiring from music and her being played in coffee shops that I frequent. Then Matt went up to talk.
The theme of the evening was humor, but to be honest, it was sort of like how TBS thinks they are "very funny" but show things like Jurassic Park, which is not all that funny. Velociraptors are anything but hilarious. Our live and our video presenters were all comedians to some extent, but the focus of each presentation didn't seem to be about humor as much as a presentation that uses humor. I'm blaming librarian lady, but she made Mr. Oats available to me so I can't really be mad at her.
Back to Matt. His talk was sort of fantastic. I knew most of his presentation and Q&A answers already, because I am a good stalker, but seeing him up their in a button down and tie was epic. I really enjoyed the comedic strategies he showed us, like limiting the detail in your characters, or why dogs aren't as funny as cats. I also loved the little things, like his fohawk hair or how he had to step in when librarian couldn't figure out how to find/show videos in IE. (I'm sorry to keep picking on this woman. I'm sure she's very sweet.)
Everyone got a free CD from Sarah, and library bag (yay grocery bag!) and a copy of Matt's book. Like a normal person, I had Sarah sign my cd. Like a crazy person, I had Matt sign a picture of Wil Wheaton collating. I thought up this idea a few days ago while high on coffee. The Bloggess, who is almost as awesome as The Oatmeal (but falls slightly short because of her lack of fohawk) has a whole bit about high res photos and blog marketing gimmicks that has resulted in Wil Wheton collating being a minor internet phenomenon. I had vaguely hoped that Mr. Oats would immediately recognize where the picture came from and we'd be best friends, but I knew that was a lofty dream and so my secondary goal was to amuse myself and at least set myself apart from the crowed a little. Sure, I didn't say anything witty to The Oatmeal, but I have a signed something that no one else does, and he probably remembers me a little, even if it's as "that crazy girl who made me sign SOMEONE ELSE'S PICTURE."
Matt lost zero coolness points for not knowing about The Bloggess, but he did loose two coolness points for not recognizing Wil Wheaton. I don't know how you can call yourself a geek without being able to recognize him. Even if you're not a Trekkie, he's been on BBT and he's all over the inter-webs. When I told him who the picture was of, he muttered something about recognizing him from the blogosphere, which knocks of another half a point of coolness because seriously, WESLEY CRUSHER. I know I just pretended like his work since then matters, but no. No it does not. Star Trek.
Now, when I move, and I need to put up my two Oatmeal posters, I will need to put them on a different wall than my Star Trek collage because obviously Matt Inman doesn't know about Star Trek.
I'm being all snippy about Matt now, which is unfair, especially since I'm already going to hell over librarian lady. But it is a good follow up to exactly how awkward turtle I was about having Matt sign my picture. I mean, I didn't even tell him my name. And when he asked if he should just sign it or if he should draw something, I couldn't really talk so I just mumbled something while shrugging in a way that probably seemed like a seizure to the untrained eye. Oh, and I turned BRIGHT RED.
I'm doing a bad job explaining it, but basically, I have a giant crush on The Oatmeal and Boyfriend took me to meet him anyway because Boyfriend isn't the jealous kind. I am the jealous kind. Don't touch boyfriend. Or Mr. Oats for that matter. Go get your own boy collection.
Actually, I don't really think I met him. Meeting someone involves a back and forth communication wherein you learn about one another: I say, "Hello, my name is Sarah." And Matt says, "Hello, my name is Mr. Oats." And then we talk for a bit about real things like the epic choice between the toothbrush that's on sale or the kind that comes in your favorite color. Real things that you can't find our from a dating profile or two blogs worth of stalking.
What did happen was this: Boyfriend bought us tickets to a TEDx Talk in Princeton. (The x stands for independently organized... When the librarian told us that, I wasn't sure if she was incredibly dumb or the whole TED site was. Possibly both are true.) We sat in a room of 100+ guests and watched a hodgepodge of short TED talks and two live guests. Sarah, who spelled her name the correct way and had lovely pink hair, embodied everything I try to be when I put on my fake leather jacket and dance around my room singing loudly. She was an unknown entity to me but I hope that in the future she makes it big and kicks Jack Johnson in the pants, resulting in his retiring from music and her being played in coffee shops that I frequent. Then Matt went up to talk.
The theme of the evening was humor, but to be honest, it was sort of like how TBS thinks they are "very funny" but show things like Jurassic Park, which is not all that funny. Velociraptors are anything but hilarious. Our live and our video presenters were all comedians to some extent, but the focus of each presentation didn't seem to be about humor as much as a presentation that uses humor. I'm blaming librarian lady, but she made Mr. Oats available to me so I can't really be mad at her.
Back to Matt. His talk was sort of fantastic. I knew most of his presentation and Q&A answers already, because I am a good stalker, but seeing him up their in a button down and tie was epic. I really enjoyed the comedic strategies he showed us, like limiting the detail in your characters, or why dogs aren't as funny as cats. I also loved the little things, like his fohawk hair or how he had to step in when librarian couldn't figure out how to find/show videos in IE. (I'm sorry to keep picking on this woman. I'm sure she's very sweet.)
Everyone got a free CD from Sarah, and library bag (yay grocery bag!) and a copy of Matt's book. Like a normal person, I had Sarah sign my cd. Like a crazy person, I had Matt sign a picture of Wil Wheaton collating. I thought up this idea a few days ago while high on coffee. The Bloggess, who is almost as awesome as The Oatmeal (but falls slightly short because of her lack of fohawk) has a whole bit about high res photos and blog marketing gimmicks that has resulted in Wil Wheton collating being a minor internet phenomenon. I had vaguely hoped that Mr. Oats would immediately recognize where the picture came from and we'd be best friends, but I knew that was a lofty dream and so my secondary goal was to amuse myself and at least set myself apart from the crowed a little. Sure, I didn't say anything witty to The Oatmeal, but I have a signed something that no one else does, and he probably remembers me a little, even if it's as "that crazy girl who made me sign SOMEONE ELSE'S PICTURE."
Matt lost zero coolness points for not knowing about The Bloggess, but he did loose two coolness points for not recognizing Wil Wheaton. I don't know how you can call yourself a geek without being able to recognize him. Even if you're not a Trekkie, he's been on BBT and he's all over the inter-webs. When I told him who the picture was of, he muttered something about recognizing him from the blogosphere, which knocks of another half a point of coolness because seriously, WESLEY CRUSHER. I know I just pretended like his work since then matters, but no. No it does not. Star Trek.
Now, when I move, and I need to put up my two Oatmeal posters, I will need to put them on a different wall than my Star Trek collage because obviously Matt Inman doesn't know about Star Trek.
I'm being all snippy about Matt now, which is unfair, especially since I'm already going to hell over librarian lady. But it is a good follow up to exactly how awkward turtle I was about having Matt sign my picture. I mean, I didn't even tell him my name. And when he asked if he should just sign it or if he should draw something, I couldn't really talk so I just mumbled something while shrugging in a way that probably seemed like a seizure to the untrained eye. Oh, and I turned BRIGHT RED.
I'm doing a bad job explaining it, but basically, I have a giant crush on The Oatmeal and Boyfriend took me to meet him anyway because Boyfriend isn't the jealous kind. I am the jealous kind. Don't touch boyfriend. Or Mr. Oats for that matter. Go get your own boy collection.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
This is What it Sounds Like
I told myself I was going to be really really smart and blog about things with amazing key words that are totally things people Google but totally not things that get a lot of results, that way I'd show up in the first page or two of results and people would click on this and my stats would improve and I'd feel like my life was validated. However, I wrote half of a blog post like that and then I stopped writing and actually did work or something and now I don't feel like going back and finishing it.
Yeah, my idiot ex might have been onto something that time he said I had no follow through. There's probably a sexual joke I could make right now but I've got nothing.
Anyway. Instead of writing something brilliant and tricky that would result in page views, I thought I'd just write about something that's been on my mind lately and hope for the best.
Topic of Interest: People are really messed up and yet they seem to have functional marriages.
People warned me that you'd reach a certain age and figure out that your parents are separate people and their fallible, but I knew that crap when I was 6. People also told me that as you get older you will realize that you don't feel like an adult but you totally are. This one is completely true but I hated being a teen so at lest 80% of the time I’m just relived to be in an age group where I can relate to my peers again. But no one warned me that all adults are totally immature and that it never gets better.
Examples: I know a 40-something frat boy. My mother dumped her boyfriend for coming over drunk. My grandmother dumped her boyfriend for being too clingy. My boss's boss talked about keg stands after I'd known her a month. People are moving in together and buying houses and having babies and they can't even do simple things. Why do you own property if you can't remember to buy toilet paper? How can you have created another human being when you can't spell or when you don't know the difference between tights and pants? How are you moving in with your boyfriend when you're still afraid of the dark?
And you know what? In part I can chock these things up to being someone else's malfunction and that these things are normal but not ideal and maybe they will make mistakes, learn from them, and move on. But the truth is that most of that stuff is just life. Sometimes it even works out okay.
I worry about boyfriend and me not being right for each other for all sorts of reasons. I'm seriously concerned that if we end up married that at some point I'm going to take his DS-Whatever or his smart phone and I'm going to chuck that shit out of the window because all of his games beep. Then I go read a blog or flip on TLC and there are real women with real issues and these men totally love them. These men totally do not want to throw anything out a window even when their wives do the most obnoxious things.
The whole thing just makes me think that I'm like the Prince song "When the Doves Cry" and I'm totally like his mother and his father because I'm bold, if by bold we mean I blurt a lot and I am never satisfied. Mostly I was thinking of the second part. Maybe I'm Prince's sister.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Page Views - They're Just Like Romance
Like most of the great bloggers, I fell into this trap where I didn't really have a blog "mission" so my posts ended up being about these five-really-great-ideas-I-had-all-at-once and there were all lot of those great ideas and some of them were even cohesive enough to travel out of my brain and into the keyboard so I could share them with all of you.
And then the honeymoon period ended. Blogging wasn't this shiny new thing I was trying out that could be a relic of my 20-something years like my MySpace posts were for my teens, and it also didn't seem to be something that was going to show the world how I was super cool and awesome like Yo Mamma or Allie Brosh. I was on the lookout for my relationship with Boyfriend to get all un-honeymoon-ish like that (it hasn't, by the way) but I wasn't ready for the shine to wear off of Blogger.
Sorry, Blogger. It isn't your fault.
But like most great bloggers I'll power on and through and up and forward and possibly at least four other prepositions. And in the mean time, people have actually come across my blog! I don't even think all of them are the two people I told about my blog because I checked the stats and it looks like people have stumbled across my blog from Google searches and have done so from the far reaches of the world. Awesome.
I also noticed that they're coming across it when googling what a pseudo problem actually is. I guess that means maybe they didn't actually want to read a blog. On the plus side, it makes me think that presenting quasi-philosophical facts in a humorous manner might actually get me more page views. Page views bring the romance back into my blogging relationship.
Now, actual followers, commenters, internet friends...that will have to wait. I'm ambitious but not stupid.
And then the honeymoon period ended. Blogging wasn't this shiny new thing I was trying out that could be a relic of my 20-something years like my MySpace posts were for my teens, and it also didn't seem to be something that was going to show the world how I was super cool and awesome like Yo Mamma or Allie Brosh. I was on the lookout for my relationship with Boyfriend to get all un-honeymoon-ish like that (it hasn't, by the way) but I wasn't ready for the shine to wear off of Blogger.
Sorry, Blogger. It isn't your fault.
But like most great bloggers I'll power on and through and up and forward and possibly at least four other prepositions. And in the mean time, people have actually come across my blog! I don't even think all of them are the two people I told about my blog because I checked the stats and it looks like people have stumbled across my blog from Google searches and have done so from the far reaches of the world. Awesome.
I also noticed that they're coming across it when googling what a pseudo problem actually is. I guess that means maybe they didn't actually want to read a blog. On the plus side, it makes me think that presenting quasi-philosophical facts in a humorous manner might actually get me more page views. Page views bring the romance back into my blogging relationship.
Now, actual followers, commenters, internet friends...that will have to wait. I'm ambitious but not stupid.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
5 Sites You Should Be Checking
http://xkcd.com/ -An online webcoming geared towards the technologically savvy and sometimes emo. I love me some mouseover text. Randall updates 3 times a week. It's not a time waster if you're learning, and chances are at least twice a month you'll have to resort to wikipedia in order to get the joke.
http://theoatmeal.com/ -Primarily a webcomic but also has a blog and quizzes. Matt interweaves factoids and his personal opinions and stories but the real attractions are his unique comic style and snarky sense of humor.
http://laughingsquid.com/ -If you're a little bit artys/geek/young you'll probably like Laughing Squid. They will keep you up to date with the latest videos, products, and events. You know that friend who's always sending you the coolest internet things? Now you can be that guy.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ -Allie is sort of crazy but you have to love her blog. She tells a great story and her illistrations enahnce her storytelling in a way you haven't seen since you read children's books. Expect random childhood stories, and some meta level bloging about bloging. Oh, and she loves her followers.
http://www.thefuckingweather.com/ -It's your standard type in your zip and it will tell you the current weather site...except with swearing and sometimes witty comments. Do it.
http://theoatmeal.com/ -Primarily a webcomic but also has a blog and quizzes. Matt interweaves factoids and his personal opinions and stories but the real attractions are his unique comic style and snarky sense of humor.
http://laughingsquid.com/ -If you're a little bit artys/geek/young you'll probably like Laughing Squid. They will keep you up to date with the latest videos, products, and events. You know that friend who's always sending you the coolest internet things? Now you can be that guy.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ -Allie is sort of crazy but you have to love her blog. She tells a great story and her illistrations enahnce her storytelling in a way you haven't seen since you read children's books. Expect random childhood stories, and some meta level bloging about bloging. Oh, and she loves her followers.
http://www.thefuckingweather.com/ -It's your standard type in your zip and it will tell you the current weather site...except with swearing and sometimes witty comments. Do it.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Animals are Scary
Fun fact: I'm a life long ovo-lacto vegetarian. That means I consume eggs, milk, honey, and other products made by animals but I don't consume fish, red meat, white meat, or sea food which would require harming an animal. You can think of the difference being like one of the dividers between vegetables and fruits. Vegetables are the plant and harm the plant when you remove the deliciousness. Fruits can be taken from the plant without mutilating the plant. This is why things like peppers and tomatoes are sometimes classified as fruits even though chemically they are vegetables. The more you know.
I also don't wear leather. This is because my high school history/psychology/philosophy/study hall teacher once kicked me in the shoe for being unwilling to kill an animal for food but having no qualms about wearing an animal to keep my toes warm. He had a point.
I would be willing to bet that most vegetarians you've met fall into one of the following categories:
a) Hippy crunchy granola save the rainforest types
b) Super skinny girls
c) People of Eastern decent/culture/religion
I fall into none of these categories. I'm more yuppie than hippie. I'm somewhere between a size 10 and a size 6, and I'm an American atheist of northern European decent. This particular outlier came to be because her mom decided to stop eating meat when she was a poor newlywed dietetic student living in Texas.
You may have noticed that people from categories a through c all tend to love animals. They pet dogs they pass on the sidewalk and they stop talking during Sarah McLachlan commercials. My first pet besides fish is Roommate's cat. I don't even know what to do with Roommate's cat. You know how comical it is when you give a 40 something confirmed bachelor a baby to hold? That's like me with this cat. I'm socially awkward around animals. I'm more than a little afraid they are all going to try to eat me.
I like people. I've spent a great deal of time learning what goes on in their heads, and I have a sporting chance of actually understanding how another person things. (Thomas Nagel's paper convinced me no one can ever know what it's like to be a bat or any other animal.) People take care of their own poop, they talk, and they don't shed on me quite so often. And have you noticed a trend here? HIV, bird flu, swine flu, mad cow: don't mess with the animals or they will mess you up.
Roommate's cat is good for me though. Maybe she will teach me to be less awkward and freaked out around animals. And then I can check "living with an animal" off of my list of important life experiences.
I also don't wear leather. This is because my high school history/psychology/philosophy/study hall teacher once kicked me in the shoe for being unwilling to kill an animal for food but having no qualms about wearing an animal to keep my toes warm. He had a point.
I would be willing to bet that most vegetarians you've met fall into one of the following categories:
a) Hippy crunchy granola save the rainforest types
b) Super skinny girls
c) People of Eastern decent/culture/religion
I fall into none of these categories. I'm more yuppie than hippie. I'm somewhere between a size 10 and a size 6, and I'm an American atheist of northern European decent. This particular outlier came to be because her mom decided to stop eating meat when she was a poor newlywed dietetic student living in Texas.
You may have noticed that people from categories a through c all tend to love animals. They pet dogs they pass on the sidewalk and they stop talking during Sarah McLachlan commercials. My first pet besides fish is Roommate's cat. I don't even know what to do with Roommate's cat. You know how comical it is when you give a 40 something confirmed bachelor a baby to hold? That's like me with this cat. I'm socially awkward around animals. I'm more than a little afraid they are all going to try to eat me.
I like people. I've spent a great deal of time learning what goes on in their heads, and I have a sporting chance of actually understanding how another person things. (Thomas Nagel's paper convinced me no one can ever know what it's like to be a bat or any other animal.) People take care of their own poop, they talk, and they don't shed on me quite so often. And have you noticed a trend here? HIV, bird flu, swine flu, mad cow: don't mess with the animals or they will mess you up.
Roommate's cat is good for me though. Maybe she will teach me to be less awkward and freaked out around animals. And then I can check "living with an animal" off of my list of important life experiences.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
How "Chuck" and Marriage are Less Fantastic and More Realistic Than You Think
Monday night House wasn't on so I actually watched Chuck as it aired instead of watching it several days later on Hulu. This was a pretty good one to watch on tv. It had a fantastic rap cover, a baby, good music (I have yet to figure out if the bad ass song I thought might be by Daft Punk is the Grand Vanity track or the Rad Omen track the internet tells me was in the episode), and a proposal. We could talk at great length about my love of any of those things, but let's focus on the proposal.
Chuck's been proposing to Sarah, or trying to, pretty much all season. They made a big deal out of him planning the perfect proposal. Now any good tv watcher could figure out that after all that hype it would end up happening either in a moment of crisis or in a moment that was perfect for all the emotional reasons, not all the geographic ones. But they had most of us fooled into thinking it was going to happen on the French balcony. And it didn't. Instead it happened in a hospital hallway, quietly, personally, and with the sound of a floor buffer working on the linoleum only a few feet away. It was possibly the most normal moment of Sarah and Chuck's relationship. It was probably the most realistic moment of the whole show. And you know what? I loved it.
Marriage isn't the indivisible unit you used to think your parents were. It's also not the jumping dolphins and sailing off into the sunset at the end of The Little Mermaid. The more I learn about adult life the more I'm convinced marriage is actually the least magical stage of a relationship and the most practical and difficult. The beginning is sort of magical. It seems statistically unlikely that there's someone right for you, that you could meet at the right time and say the right things and end up falling for one another. If you've read/seen Watchmen you can think about it like Dr. Manhattan's speech about gold and Laurie. But years into a marriage I think usually some of that wonder has rubbed off and while two people may love each other they tend to take each other for granted sometimes.
I'm not against marriage, but I think I take it a lot more seriously than a lot of people do, especially other nonreligious people. But, like most people going into a new job or a new year, having their first baby, or entering their first marriage, I think I get a little too hung up on the beginning of things. A lot of women become bridzillas, freaking out about cake decorations, music, you name it. I'm not quite on that level, but I'm not even close to getting married and I'm already hung up on the symbolism.
The way I see it proposals work like this:
We're a happy couple.
I'm a girl and I really hope he wants to marry me so I'm either not mentioning it at all or I'm nagging him about it publicly.
I'm a guy and I've chosen a ring, a place, and I wrote a speech. I even went and talked to her parents because I want them to know I respect them. "Here girlfriend. I bought you this really expensive present. I hope you like it because you're going to wear it for the rest of your life and show it off to friends. It's a status symbol for you, a sign of my wealth for both of us, and it will mark you as mine until we tie the knot."
"Thanks boyfriend. I'll wear this and point it out to everyone. I will also single handedly plan the wedding since you're pretty much the perfect man and I've been waiting for the perfect man since I was 4 and I planned my dream wedding. It will be a perfect mash up of what appealed to me in 1991 and also what bridal magazines tell me is hip and modern. It will work well because in 20 years when we look back a combination of modern styles and childish 90's dreams will seem classic."
That all seems wrong to me.
I think couples should talk about marriage on more than on occasion before getting engaged. They should both feel comfortable with it. I'm not opposed to the whole speech thing, but mostly because if I'm not too busy crying I'd like to respond with some sort of declaration of affection/intention. The guy can bring up the subject though but mostly because me being me, I bet no matter what sort of guy I marry I'll have initiated lots of the other important relationship steps. Maybe for other people it should be the woman doing it.
I also think the ring thing doesn't work. I like the idea of a trial run for a marriage, testing out a new level of commitment before saying vows, but I think both members of the relationship should have to wear engagement rings. Maybe the rings are claddagh rings and can be passed down to the kids some day. Maybe they are the wedding bands but before the ceremony they can be engraved or added to in some way; I don't know. Then the giving of rings says: "let's try out this partnership; being visibly committed to one another, and having agreed that it will be for life, forsaking all others."
And if you're not living together before that point, I think engagement is a fine time to move in with one another. Maybe wait a few weeks or months to settle into the new level of commitment before adding more to it, but if engagement is a trial run for marriage then you better make sure you can handle living together. Maybe even borrow a puppy or offer to babysit while some friends go out of town if you're planning on having kids together.*
Then there's the actually ceremony. How come the bride is given away and the groom isn't? I don't think I want to be given away. I give myself. I am not an event planner so maybe none of this would work, but it makes more sense to me for the bride to walk in from one side preceded by all the women in the couple's life, and the man to walk in at the same time preceded by all the men in the couple's life. They can meet at the center. I also sort of feel like there shouldn't be an officiator. Like maybe a couple should decide for themselves what they do and don't promise without prompting. Or maybe each member of the wedding party should take turns officiating throughout the ceremony and can end it in chorus, showing their backing and support for the couple.
Either way, I don't see a reason to have the reception separate from the ceremony. It seems easier to decorate one room and get everyone in it. If everyone needs to be rearranged for the tables to get shifted from ceremony focus to food and dancing focus then that seems like a good time for a receiving line which could take place at the front of the room or something.
*If you get to this point and haven't discussed if you want to have kids, that isn't a very good sign.
Chuck's been proposing to Sarah, or trying to, pretty much all season. They made a big deal out of him planning the perfect proposal. Now any good tv watcher could figure out that after all that hype it would end up happening either in a moment of crisis or in a moment that was perfect for all the emotional reasons, not all the geographic ones. But they had most of us fooled into thinking it was going to happen on the French balcony. And it didn't. Instead it happened in a hospital hallway, quietly, personally, and with the sound of a floor buffer working on the linoleum only a few feet away. It was possibly the most normal moment of Sarah and Chuck's relationship. It was probably the most realistic moment of the whole show. And you know what? I loved it.
Marriage isn't the indivisible unit you used to think your parents were. It's also not the jumping dolphins and sailing off into the sunset at the end of The Little Mermaid. The more I learn about adult life the more I'm convinced marriage is actually the least magical stage of a relationship and the most practical and difficult. The beginning is sort of magical. It seems statistically unlikely that there's someone right for you, that you could meet at the right time and say the right things and end up falling for one another. If you've read/seen Watchmen you can think about it like Dr. Manhattan's speech about gold and Laurie. But years into a marriage I think usually some of that wonder has rubbed off and while two people may love each other they tend to take each other for granted sometimes.
I'm not against marriage, but I think I take it a lot more seriously than a lot of people do, especially other nonreligious people. But, like most people going into a new job or a new year, having their first baby, or entering their first marriage, I think I get a little too hung up on the beginning of things. A lot of women become bridzillas, freaking out about cake decorations, music, you name it. I'm not quite on that level, but I'm not even close to getting married and I'm already hung up on the symbolism.
The way I see it proposals work like this:
We're a happy couple.
I'm a girl and I really hope he wants to marry me so I'm either not mentioning it at all or I'm nagging him about it publicly.
I'm a guy and I've chosen a ring, a place, and I wrote a speech. I even went and talked to her parents because I want them to know I respect them. "Here girlfriend. I bought you this really expensive present. I hope you like it because you're going to wear it for the rest of your life and show it off to friends. It's a status symbol for you, a sign of my wealth for both of us, and it will mark you as mine until we tie the knot."
"Thanks boyfriend. I'll wear this and point it out to everyone. I will also single handedly plan the wedding since you're pretty much the perfect man and I've been waiting for the perfect man since I was 4 and I planned my dream wedding. It will be a perfect mash up of what appealed to me in 1991 and also what bridal magazines tell me is hip and modern. It will work well because in 20 years when we look back a combination of modern styles and childish 90's dreams will seem classic."
That all seems wrong to me.
I think couples should talk about marriage on more than on occasion before getting engaged. They should both feel comfortable with it. I'm not opposed to the whole speech thing, but mostly because if I'm not too busy crying I'd like to respond with some sort of declaration of affection/intention. The guy can bring up the subject though but mostly because me being me, I bet no matter what sort of guy I marry I'll have initiated lots of the other important relationship steps. Maybe for other people it should be the woman doing it.
I also think the ring thing doesn't work. I like the idea of a trial run for a marriage, testing out a new level of commitment before saying vows, but I think both members of the relationship should have to wear engagement rings. Maybe the rings are claddagh rings and can be passed down to the kids some day. Maybe they are the wedding bands but before the ceremony they can be engraved or added to in some way; I don't know. Then the giving of rings says: "let's try out this partnership; being visibly committed to one another, and having agreed that it will be for life, forsaking all others."
And if you're not living together before that point, I think engagement is a fine time to move in with one another. Maybe wait a few weeks or months to settle into the new level of commitment before adding more to it, but if engagement is a trial run for marriage then you better make sure you can handle living together. Maybe even borrow a puppy or offer to babysit while some friends go out of town if you're planning on having kids together.*
Then there's the actually ceremony. How come the bride is given away and the groom isn't? I don't think I want to be given away. I give myself. I am not an event planner so maybe none of this would work, but it makes more sense to me for the bride to walk in from one side preceded by all the women in the couple's life, and the man to walk in at the same time preceded by all the men in the couple's life. They can meet at the center. I also sort of feel like there shouldn't be an officiator. Like maybe a couple should decide for themselves what they do and don't promise without prompting. Or maybe each member of the wedding party should take turns officiating throughout the ceremony and can end it in chorus, showing their backing and support for the couple.
Either way, I don't see a reason to have the reception separate from the ceremony. It seems easier to decorate one room and get everyone in it. If everyone needs to be rearranged for the tables to get shifted from ceremony focus to food and dancing focus then that seems like a good time for a receiving line which could take place at the front of the room or something.
*If you get to this point and haven't discussed if you want to have kids, that isn't a very good sign.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Naptime to the Max
Contrite - deeply sorrowful and repentant for a wrong
Sometimes, and this happened to me yesterday, I achieve the sort of tiredness at work which doesn't feel like it can be fixed by getting up and wandering about the building or even by a double shot of espresso topped with hot chocolate mix.
It feels like only by closing my eyes and curling up in a ball under my desk with my fleece hoodie as a pillow will I ever feel like a normal human being again. I end up imagining my inner child as the brown haired version of the squiggly girl Allie draws herself as in Hyperbole and a Half. Squiggle Sarah is sitting on my shoulder being all two dimensional and whiny and she looks up and me and says: "Whyyyyyyy can't we take a nap RIGHT NOW?" I look down at her with droopy eyes and I don't even have a response. It's not like I'm very productive at work when I get like that. I'll probably end up staring at abc's news home page not doing any work at all.
The kicker is I know that even though in that moment I feel like I would sell my left kidney for a nap, as soon as I get through the rest of the afternoon and drag my butt out the door, I'll start to feel a little bit better. I'll listen to some tunes on the way home, I'll talk to Roommate when I get home, I'll pet her cat, and then I won't want to take a nap anymore. I'll want to watch The Simpsons and eat baked Doritos while catching up on facebook.
Realizing this makes me feel contrite; I just want a nap right then. I want the sleep. I become my inner child. Rawr.
Sometimes, and this happened to me yesterday, I achieve the sort of tiredness at work which doesn't feel like it can be fixed by getting up and wandering about the building or even by a double shot of espresso topped with hot chocolate mix.
It feels like only by closing my eyes and curling up in a ball under my desk with my fleece hoodie as a pillow will I ever feel like a normal human being again. I end up imagining my inner child as the brown haired version of the squiggly girl Allie draws herself as in Hyperbole and a Half. Squiggle Sarah is sitting on my shoulder being all two dimensional and whiny and she looks up and me and says: "Whyyyyyyy can't we take a nap RIGHT NOW?" I look down at her with droopy eyes and I don't even have a response. It's not like I'm very productive at work when I get like that. I'll probably end up staring at abc's news home page not doing any work at all.
The kicker is I know that even though in that moment I feel like I would sell my left kidney for a nap, as soon as I get through the rest of the afternoon and drag my butt out the door, I'll start to feel a little bit better. I'll listen to some tunes on the way home, I'll talk to Roommate when I get home, I'll pet her cat, and then I won't want to take a nap anymore. I'll want to watch The Simpsons and eat baked Doritos while catching up on facebook.
Realizing this makes me feel contrite; I just want a nap right then. I want the sleep. I become my inner child. Rawr.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
There's an Apple Where My Heart Should Be
Word of the day: Fatuous - Stupid; foolishly self-satisfied.
For more than 20 years (and that's saying something since I'm in my early 20's) I've been in love with Apple. I learned how to type on a Mac, hell I came leaps and bounds with my ability to read by playing Reader Rabbit. My first personal computer was a mac. I remember when my parents got their first laptop. And now I am on my second lap top. I'm on my 4th ipod; my first was the first generation. But I have yet to own an Apple touch product. My current ipod has a clickwheel, my phone isn't even an Apple product. *gasp*
In fact, I don't have a data plan at all. It's only in the past 3 years that I've jumped on the texting bandwagon. Mostly I didn't feel the need for a data plan because I was in college until spring of '09 and everywhere I went my laptop came with me. But now that isn't the case. And sometimes I even have a social life and I go places for hours or even days without bringing my computer.
My semi-hatred of consumerism has managed to win out against my love of Apple in the case of the ipad. I don't need an ipad. I am not a photographer or a lawyer, I don't take the train or the bus in to work every day, and I don't play many games. Not that I wouldn't love someone to gift me one... That was an especially intense battle because while other people might have taken their first look at the ipad and saw a flat netbook or a small tablet or even a color ereader, I saw a freaking Star Trek TNG prop in Apple clothing and available for real usage. It couldn't get much better if it was made out of lattes and milk chocolate.
But back to the iphone. I don't need a smart phone. I don't need a touch screen. I don't need apps. I don't need a data plan. And even if I needed all those things, I don't need an Apple version of all that. It's not even like when I first got a cell or my GPS and I could justify it as solving a safety issue. It isn't very often that I'm going to have to wikipedia poisonous berries or something. It's a luxury purchase. It's like my fancy big girl apartment tv and it's cable package. It's a giant upfront cost and a seemingly ridiculous monthly bill.
I don't know how much it will really cost me because I do get a discount on Verizon through work. But I feel like it will be something like a good day of outlet shopping and a sale pair of jeans a month. I could also think of it like buying my boyfriend, roommate, and her boyfriend a really nice dinner in the city once and then buying all of them pizza every month. Do I love being able to check gmail, facebook, and wikipedia as much or more than I love pizza or jeans? I don't know. That's quite the three way tie.
I'm going to feel somewhat embarrassed and fatuous if I end up owning an iphone 4. But I will love it like it's my own child.
For more than 20 years (and that's saying something since I'm in my early 20's) I've been in love with Apple. I learned how to type on a Mac, hell I came leaps and bounds with my ability to read by playing Reader Rabbit. My first personal computer was a mac. I remember when my parents got their first laptop. And now I am on my second lap top. I'm on my 4th ipod; my first was the first generation. But I have yet to own an Apple touch product. My current ipod has a clickwheel, my phone isn't even an Apple product. *gasp*
In fact, I don't have a data plan at all. It's only in the past 3 years that I've jumped on the texting bandwagon. Mostly I didn't feel the need for a data plan because I was in college until spring of '09 and everywhere I went my laptop came with me. But now that isn't the case. And sometimes I even have a social life and I go places for hours or even days without bringing my computer.
My semi-hatred of consumerism has managed to win out against my love of Apple in the case of the ipad. I don't need an ipad. I am not a photographer or a lawyer, I don't take the train or the bus in to work every day, and I don't play many games. Not that I wouldn't love someone to gift me one... That was an especially intense battle because while other people might have taken their first look at the ipad and saw a flat netbook or a small tablet or even a color ereader, I saw a freaking Star Trek TNG prop in Apple clothing and available for real usage. It couldn't get much better if it was made out of lattes and milk chocolate.
But back to the iphone. I don't need a smart phone. I don't need a touch screen. I don't need apps. I don't need a data plan. And even if I needed all those things, I don't need an Apple version of all that. It's not even like when I first got a cell or my GPS and I could justify it as solving a safety issue. It isn't very often that I'm going to have to wikipedia poisonous berries or something. It's a luxury purchase. It's like my fancy big girl apartment tv and it's cable package. It's a giant upfront cost and a seemingly ridiculous monthly bill.
I don't know how much it will really cost me because I do get a discount on Verizon through work. But I feel like it will be something like a good day of outlet shopping and a sale pair of jeans a month. I could also think of it like buying my boyfriend, roommate, and her boyfriend a really nice dinner in the city once and then buying all of them pizza every month. Do I love being able to check gmail, facebook, and wikipedia as much or more than I love pizza or jeans? I don't know. That's quite the three way tie.
I'm going to feel somewhat embarrassed and fatuous if I end up owning an iphone 4. But I will love it like it's my own child.
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